The other day I overheard my 11 year old sister on the phone with my 27 year old sister. She's been married for a while living in NC. It's sad to think that Sarah, who changed Erin's diapers and warmed her bottles, now watches Erin grow up through Facebook pictures. I couldn't really hear what they were saying but I heard a comfort in Erin's voice that I had never really heard before. It made me wonder how Erin would be different had Sarah remained in her life. I never considered that there might be some things that I couldn’t provide for Erin, myself.
There's something different about a woman's presence. The female perspective is warm yet firm. Wise. When I talk to some of them, they place their hands on their folded legs. They listen and nod with squinted eyes of empathy. They retort calmly, pinching strands of hair behind their ear. Their gentle prodding coaxes me into my best behavior.
For the first time, I'm enjoying a handful of meaningful yet platonic relationships with different ladies in my life. One’s a married deaconess from church. Another led our team in India. M teaches History at my school. Y's a paralegal in the city. Phd students. Nutrition bloggers. Adopting mothers. There is something timelessly fascinating about the female psyche. I'm forever a fan. Partly because it's the one thing I can never fully understand, but really because of the woman's uncanny ability to comfort and empower. Somehow, at the same time.
Maybe it has something to do with child bearing. That God designed women with an innate gift of powerful love. This year, two of my juniors conceived children. Three of my seniors currently raise infants. It’s interesting when these girls come back from pregnancy. They come back with a solemn maturity. They work efficiently, with a chip on their shoulder. They study silently, indifferent to the gossip. They smile, but not in the same way. Sometimes during my lessons, I make eye contact with her and wonder how many hours of sleep she got. I try to give my most reassuring look because I'm familiar with the heavy brow of a single mother. I know in that moment, I’m witnessing the transition from girl to woman.
The biggest influences in my life have one thing in common. They truly believed in me, when it made no sense. They gave me the benefit of the doubt, when I didn't deserve it. More than anything, I was driven by the fear of disappointing them. I started becoming the person they thought I was.
There's something different about a woman's presence. The female perspective is warm yet firm. Wise. When I talk to some of them, they place their hands on their folded legs. They listen and nod with squinted eyes of empathy. They retort calmly, pinching strands of hair behind their ear. Their gentle prodding coaxes me into my best behavior.
For the first time, I'm enjoying a handful of meaningful yet platonic relationships with different ladies in my life. One’s a married deaconess from church. Another led our team in India. M teaches History at my school. Y's a paralegal in the city. Phd students. Nutrition bloggers. Adopting mothers. There is something timelessly fascinating about the female psyche. I'm forever a fan. Partly because it's the one thing I can never fully understand, but really because of the woman's uncanny ability to comfort and empower. Somehow, at the same time.
Maybe it has something to do with child bearing. That God designed women with an innate gift of powerful love. This year, two of my juniors conceived children. Three of my seniors currently raise infants. It’s interesting when these girls come back from pregnancy. They come back with a solemn maturity. They work efficiently, with a chip on their shoulder. They study silently, indifferent to the gossip. They smile, but not in the same way. Sometimes during my lessons, I make eye contact with her and wonder how many hours of sleep she got. I try to give my most reassuring look because I'm familiar with the heavy brow of a single mother. I know in that moment, I’m witnessing the transition from girl to woman.
The biggest influences in my life have one thing in common. They truly believed in me, when it made no sense. They gave me the benefit of the doubt, when I didn't deserve it. More than anything, I was driven by the fear of disappointing them. I started becoming the person they thought I was.
2 comments:
Ben, you are immensely loved. God is so good to you! Glad that I am a part of your life and it's been an incredible blessing to see who you are becoming as you are empowered and esteemed.
PS - this post was so eloquently written.
you're wife is going to be a lucky lady!
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