my piece from "The Trumpet" (vol 15).

Tenali, India

During my two weeks in India, I spent a lot of time with children from different villages. For the most part, children are the same wherever you go–including the kids from Pastor Rufus’ orphanage. There were 40 of them, ages 5-12. And because they grew up together, I’m not sure how many of them actually knew they were orphans. During praise, they would sing and dance. During games, they would laugh and smile. But on the last night as we prayed over them, they began to cry. This was not the innocent, childhood bawling but a deeper, aching groan. Perhaps for the first time, they could sense that something was off in their lives. I held one boy named Heart as he sobbed into my chest with his arms around my waist. It was the unique posture of a child longing for his parents. The deep pain of missing something he doesn’t remember. As I prayed I cried out, “God, why is this happening? What is Your purpose?”

He assured me that He loves them very much and that He would be their father. So God let him cry, like He always does. He let the pain sink in. It was the hollowing of this orphan’s heart, to make space for Himself. I glimpsed the future of the Gospel in India that night. Leaders were being shaped in that very room. As I held Heart, I saw that he and I weren't that different. At the end of the day we are all spiritual orphans, separated from our Father in Heaven. Nostalgic for the eternity we haven’t yet experienced.

Dry Cleaners Ministry

Mom: You lost weight. Is everything okay?
Customer 1: My roommate is recovering from cancer.
Mom: What is her name? I will pray to Jesus for her.

Customer 2: How is Erin?
Mom: She has volleyball tryouts today. She asked me to pray in Jesus name.
Customer 2: I'll pray for her also.

Customer 3: Where is Ben?
Mom: He's in India.
Customer 3: Why?
Mom: Jesus sent him.

Damn mom... How you have so much swag?

Rookie Reflections

That was fun. Let's do it again!

Gut

Sometimes during college, my roommates and I would start craving a certain taste but we couldn't quite put a finger on what it was. So we would start bouncing ideas off each other through process of elimination. "Asian or American? Hot or cold?" Some days we would discover that we had wanted Halal cart all along. Other times, we would settle for Subway. One thing's for sure though, when you finally get it, it totally hits the spot.

It's funny because we would just be flipping through menus looking for something to tip us off. So often, we don't know what we want but we'll know it if we see it. It's the same reason my students prefer true or false questions to essay assignments. We can identify yes or no but struggle when asked to explain why.

Sometimes our gut can sense things before our minds can understand them. I'm convinced that girls who know nothing about basketball can recognize Michael Jordan's dominance during a game. Tone-deaf boys can still appreciate the sheer power of Whitney's voice. Even total strangers pick out their soulmates on the first encounter. It's the smell of passion and its truth can't be denied.

Thinking : Action

If you work out regularly, you know the therapy of a steady bench press. push. breathe. push. breathe. The cleansing sweat of a rhythmic jog. left. right. left. right. Sometimes, we need to channel our most carnal instincts just to feel human again.

More and more, I'm beginning to think that human beings were designed to work. move. toil. During my 11 day vacation, nothing was more dangerous than being idle. When our "thinking to action ratio" is too high, we become petty and dramatic. Delusional and complacent. I started thinking myself into ruts.

Personally, I really miss--and even need--the daily grind again. There's something sexy about 6 am. Refreshing about a full day's schedule. And nothing is more satisfying than loosening my tie at the end of the day.

Furthermore, repetition and exhaustion can really arouse the imagination. The best ideas have a way of falling into our lap when we're least looking for them. when we're buried at work. So many artists become out of touch over time, because they quit the day jobs that helped them write their best songs. They lose the tension of everyday experiences that once triggered their creative juices.

So Kanye, when you're done with your dark, twisted fantasy, I'll be at the gym waiting for the guy that wrote "Roses". Do you even remember why you rap anymore? Just think of that cheeky kid with the backpack. Hip Hop needs you and I miss you.

Werd

you'll see Him one day.
I just hope that I'm the one to show you.

Self-Assessment

Teacher: Ha
Subject: 11th English Language Arts
Term: 2010-2011

Classroom Management: B
Curriculum Building: B+
Faculty Rapport: A-
Student Relationships: A
Differentiation: C+
Representing Christ at work: F

Curves

I have this theory that the best Spanish teachers aren't actually Hispanic. In fact, they're anything but. They are non-native speakers, who actively learned it as a second language. They still remember what it's like to struggle: the hardest conjugation rules, the toughest vocab, and the most helpful mnemonics. It's hard to be a good teacher, if you've never been a bad student.

See, you have to think that the best personal trainers used to be overweight with slow metabolism. the guys that really earn their fitness, everyday. In my experience, the most gracious pastors were once the deepest sinners. The most broken youth grow up to be the best presidents.

It's like... your worst subject in middle school ends up being your major in college. As a kid, writing gave me so much anxiety, not just because I was bad but because I knew I could be better. The potential of our passions is frustrating but learning curves make the growing pains worth it.

Will Smith--one of the hardest working actors--said he still wakes up every morning with a poor man's mindset. That seems to be the secret. Remembering your lowest times as a point of reference. Writing your autobiography as you live it.

Irony

"In the ghettos, kids kill each other. In the suburbs, kids kill themselves."
-PJae

Gospel

Jesus loves me. This I know,
for the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong;
they are weak, but he is strong.